POOP!

Our Christmas card this year.

I am working on a degree in poopology, as a sailor and full-time RVer I have come to know a lot about...you guessed it, poop. To 99% of the American pooping public the last time you think about "dropping the kids of at the pool" is when they swirl away down the drain. Not so with the poopologist, take a brief look with me at the dark side of excrement. To those of you who are en-sewered I first need to introduce you to a new concept, the "holding" (boats) or the "blackwater" (RV) tank. Primarily used as a place to generate horrendous odors, it can also be used as temporary storage for le deuce et al. Part of my duties on bus or boat is the care and feeding of the turd gobbler. I've come up with a few simple rules to make this job a little less shitty.

This is where the magic happens

Rule one, never pass up a chance to empty the tank before traveling, in a boat go to the pump out, in an rv go to the dump station. Flush with fresh water if possible. After a night of boondocking we had planned a short day of travel, about 120 miles, rather than dump at our first opportunity, we figured we would be in the campground with full hookups before noon. Long story short, the bus broke down in 100 degree heat and it was three days before we were back on the road. Here I would like to describe the smell, but my mind has blocked it out in an effort to preserve my sanity. 

Rule two, always wear gloves to empty the holding tank. No brainer, right? Remember whether boat or bus it is always trying to cover you in effluent.
P.S. Keep your mouth closed. (Don't ask)

Rule three, don't put anything down the toilet. This is the only way I have found to prevent tank issues, maybe distilled water would be OK but remember, if it can smell it will smell. Everyone has their own way of preventing buildup in the holding tank, from ice in the tank (supposed to knock buildup off the tank while you drive) to chemical cocktails of one sort or another. I've tried filling the tanks with fresh water overnight and draining in the morning, store bought chemical pellets, and various combinations of water softener and detergent. Every once in a while my tank sensors will work, usually for one fill and empty cycle and for a brief moment I'll have hope. It won't be long till they fail, and back to the drawing board. If you are looking for ways to keep the deuce demon at bay, don't look here.  If I find an answer I'll post it as an addendum. My only real advice is never pass up a chance to poop somewhere else. Life on the road has its ups and downs but it's hardly ever shitty
L.